http://phantomvoice.net/short-stories/early-november-in-friarville/ The stories and poetry of Phantom Voice (a.k.a. Saphrym) Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:30:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 http://phantomvoice.net/short-stories/early-november-in-friarville/comment-page-1/#comment-40 Phantom Voice Wed, 30 Jul 2008 04:38:27 +0000 http://phantomvoice.net/?p=31#comment-40 Yeah. This isn't one of my favorite pieces. Also, the story isn't divided out right because this theme doesn't accept horizontal rules. But I definitely want to rewrite this one. It's an old one. Yeah. This isn’t one of my favorite pieces. Also, the story isn’t divided out right because this theme doesn’t accept horizontal rules. But I definitely want to rewrite this one. It’s an old one.

]]> http://phantomvoice.net/short-stories/early-november-in-friarville/comment-page-1/#comment-39 J. Anderson Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:40:27 +0000 http://phantomvoice.net/?p=31#comment-39 Not a bad idea, but I find some of the twists contrived, and the ending quote was too much of a jump. If you want a monologue, write it as a monologue, not a short story. It's just a poorly executed story. However, it is worth another draft. Write it again, and see how it goes. Not a bad idea, but I find some of the twists contrived, and the ending quote was too much of a jump. If you want a monologue, write it as a monologue, not a short story. It’s just a poorly executed story. However, it is worth another draft. Write it again, and see how it goes.

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